


Have Courage & Be Kind

by grandsquid



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Best Friends Choi Beomgyu & Choi Soobin, Choi Soobin-Centric, Cinderella Elements, Confident Gay Choi Yeonjun, Dancer Choi Yeonjun, Drug Use, Fluff, Holidays, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Pining, Shy Choi Soobin, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Strangers to Lovers, Theater kid Choi Beomgyu, There will be no smut, everything is still cute, feel like cinderella naega byeonhae, it's not bad i promise, mostly because Soobin doesn't know about special brownies, soft boys in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:28:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28767099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandsquid/pseuds/grandsquid
Summary: After accidentally bumping into Yeonjun at a New Year's party and leaving with a sweater and no contact info, shy Soobin decides it's time to get over his difficulty talking to strangers.Starring:Panicked gay Soobin, accidental sweater thiefConfident gay Yeonjun, owner of said stolen sweaterRoommate Beomgyu, theater enthusiast and fairy godmotherSmart kid Taehyun, Beomgyu enthusiastHueningkai, not entirely sure how he got bamboozled into this messTags will be updated as we go.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 22
Kudos: 160





	1. January

**Author's Note:**

> YO WHADDUP MOA? This is my first fic in like 10 years so set the bar low and your expectations lower! 
> 
> This fic was born from watching Yeonbin sail 24/7 but especially Soobin's constant appearances in the sweater Yeonjun gave him for his birthday.
> 
> A few notes:  
> -school setting reflects what goes on in my own country  
> -no honorifics until I deep dive into the language and intricacies of using them  
> -consistency in chapter length and posting schedule? I don't know her  
> -just trying my best tbh

December 31, 11:00pm

It’s finally getting close to midnight and Soobin is starting to feel like Cinderella. Except he can’t leave until midnight and his fairy godmother is loud and unhelpful and has essentially abandoned him in a room full of strangers. And there’s no Prince Charming, just a dim room full of sweaty university students dancing haphazardly along to the pulsing beat from the speakers. Maybe not so much like Cinderella after all. 

Soobin knew he was making a bad decision when he grudgingly agreed to attend a New Year’s Eve party with his roommate, but Beomgyu was just so persistent. With all his rattling on about celebrating their first term at university and having new experiences in reality instead of reading about them in books, he had made a decent case at the time.

Now that Soobin is actually here though, awkwardly hovering near the wall and scanning the room for any sign of his roommate, he’s full of regret. Beomgyu wandered off 10 minutes ago in search of a bathroom and Soobin had been edging around the room ever since, trying not to look too pathetic. It must not be working though because a group of girls were giggling and stealing glances at him as they talked and oh no oh no, one of them was starting to walk away from her friends and in his direction. Beomgyu be damned, Soobin is not mentally prepared for this interaction.

Soobin slips out of the nearby doorway and into a dark, hot hallway. If anything the press of bodies is worse here and Soobin gets swept up in the current of people moving to their respective destinations. Time dilates as he stumbles through the twisting hallways of the house before the stream of partygoers spits him out in a different room and directly into the broad back of another person. 

“Oh no I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to - I just - um…” Soobin trails off as the person turns around and runs his eyes up and down Soobin’s body before breaking into a wide smile. 

“That’s okay, it’s pretty crowded. Are YOU okay though? You look a little lost,” the stranger asks, giggling as his cheeks puff up and his eyes sparkle. He runs a hand casually through his tousled blue hair, silver sun and moon earrings glittering as they catch the flashing lights from overhead. Soobin realizes he’s been staring openly when the boy tilts his head and frowns, repeating his question with concern.

“Uh yeah, sorry. I got separated from my friend and I don’t know anyone else here so um-“ Soobin’s brain kicks back into action and offers a weak response, but it doesn’t matter because the other boy is already sticking his hand out to introduce himself.

“Oh! I’m Yeonjun! Now you know two people” he says with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Soobin. And sorry again about running into you.”

“Don’t worry about it Soobin! But you do owe me for bumping into me,” Yeonjun says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You can repay me with a round of karaoke! I was hoping to sing a duet with one of my friends but he ditched me.” 

Heck. Soobin is not one for embarrassing himself in front of large crowds, but who is he to argue with this cute stranger and his adorable pout? Maybe one song wouldn’t hurt…

“I’ll take your silence as a yes! Let’s go!” Yeonjun exclaims, grabbing Soobin’s hand as the latter gawks. He must have taken too long to answer again because Yeonjun is already dragging him through the crowd towards a small stage at the back of the room. Which is all well and good until Soobin manages to stumble into yet another person who, unfortunately, spills their drink all over his crisp white button down. 

“S-sorry,” Soobin shouts behind him as he’s pulled along by Yeonjun’s warm grip, unable to stop and apologize properly. The two arrive at the foot of the stage a moment later and Yeonjun spins around on black heeled boots to face Soobin, exclaiming in surprise as he takes in the sticky amber mess soaking Soobin’s stomach. 

“Oh no! You can’t go up on stage like this! Here, you can wear my sweater for now,” Yeonjun says, taking off his oversized black and white cardigan and stepping forward to wrap it around Soobin. Even on Soobin’s tall frame the garment hangs loosely, sleeves falling over his hands as Yeonjun buttons the front the cover the beer stain. 

Without the sweater Yeonjun is even more eye-catching, Soobin muses. A black shirt with a loose collar reveals an expanse of chest and collarbones, bottom cropped just enough to show flashes of skin above Yeonjun’s tight black jeans when he lifts his arms to adjust the fit of the sweater. Soobin feels a bit stodgy by comparison in his simple white button down and black slacks, but it’s all he had on Beomgyu’s short notice to “dress up!” 

What happens next feels like something of a blur as Soobin is pulled on stage and a microphone pressed into his hand. He barely even registers the song he’s singing along to, lost in the pull of Yeonjun’s effervescent smile and the encouraging nods directed at him as Yeonjun dances around the stage. Distantly he hears the crowd cheering, his focus almost entirely consumed by Yeonjun’s clear voice. Maybe he has stumbled into a fairy tale after all.

As the song ends and he trips off the stage Soobin laughs to himself about the absurdity of the situation. This boy must be popular and certainly talented, why is he electing to spend his time with a veritable stranger who ran into him? 

“Why didn’t you tell me you have such a nice voice?” Yeonjun exclaims as he smoothes back his inky hair once more. Soobin is entranced by his movements, by the sparkly rings adorning long fingers that are now reaching again for Soobin’s hand and fitting themselves between his own fingers.

December 31, 11:50pm

Soobin re-enters the world of the living in a cramped kitchen with Yeonjun standing in front of him, withdrawing a stained cloth from his now slightly cleaner shirt. He mentally kicks himself when he sees the hint of worry behind Yeonjun’s small smile, realizing that he has once again been awkwardly silent.

“Um, thanks for helping clean this up. You really didn’t have to,” Soobin ventures quietly. “I’m the one who bumped into you in the first place.”

“No, I’m the one who should be thanking you. It’s not every day a cute stranger agrees to sing karaoke with me,” Yeonjun says with a wink, wringing out the damp rag in the sink and taking a step closer to Soobin. 

In imminent danger of combusting under Yeonjun’s apprising gaze, Soobin steps backwards and collides with the old refrigerator. Yeonjun lets out a tinkling laugh and closes the gap again, looking up through his eyelashes at the taller boy.

“You know it’s almost midnight,” Yeonjun starts.

“Ah you’re right,” Soobin says, craning his head to peer out of the kitchen and into the packed room beyond. “I should find my roommate, I’m sure he’s worried about me.”

“Maybe you could wait a few minutes? Look, everyone has already started getting ready for the countdown. Pairing up. We don’t want you getting lost or crashing into someone else…” Yeonjun trails off suggestively. 

Suggestively? Wait, Soobin must be misinterpreting this. Choking slightly at the implications, Soobin’s eyes dart around before landing on the tip of Yeonjun’s tongue peeking out from between his plush, glossy lips.

His eyes must linger for a breath too long because Yeonjun is extending a long finger and tapping it underneath Soobin’s chin, drawing his gaze to Yeonjun’s eyes.

“We can go find your friend now if you’re uncomfortable you know,” Yeonjun says with a wistful smile. “Or you can go alone if you don’t want the company. The cell service isn’t great in here but I bet you can get through to them if you step outside.”

“N-no I’m not - I mean - I can wait,” Soobin chokes out, blushing furiously. 

Yeonjun nods and opens his mouth, but before he can speak there’s a flash of black at the edge of Soobin’s vision and a hand clutched to his arm.

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere! We have to go NOW. This girl in the bathroom line started talking to me and - I’ll explain on the way, let’s gooooooo,” Beomgyu fires off, pulling Soobin sideways towards the exit. 

For a split second Soobin can see his own surprise mirrored in Yeonjun’s wide eyes and open mouth, the latter frozen in the dingy kitchen as the clock strikes midnight and Soobin vanishes into the crowd. Maybe he is Cinderella after all. 

January 1, 12:30am

“Are you going to explain?” Soobin huffs out between gulps of water, chest pounding from the haphazard run back to their dorm room. “I didn’t even want to go in the first place and you disappeared and then you made me RUN. You know how much I hate running,” Soobin pouts. 

“It’s not my fault!” Beomgyu exclaims. Waving his hand dismissively at Soobin’s eye roll, Beomgyu continues, “I was in the bathroom line and this guy kept pestering the girl behind me. I had to help her! Of course the guy couldn’t take no for an answer and things got heated, but the important part is that I saved her from Creepy McCreeper.”

Soobin sets his water bottle down on the coffee table and lets out an exasperated sigh. He’s about to resume complaining when Beomgyu fixes him with a suspicious stare and says, “are you going to explain what happened to YOU? You weren’t where I left you and I had to go searching everywhere, only to find you off with a stranger. And where did that sweater even come from??” 

“OH NO” Soobin shouts, jumping up from his seat on the worn grey couch and wringing his hands. “I forgot to give his sweater back, what am I going to do?”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen in alarm and he shushes Soobin, blocking his path around the table and forcing Soobin back onto the couch. 

“Story time! Does the sweater belong to that cute guy you were with when I found you? DID YOU MEET A BOY?” Beomgyu asks, waggling his eyebrows and grinning. 

“Yes but - I mean - I don’t know anything about him! Shut up! How am I going to return it?” Soobin wails, burying his face in a pillow.

“Okay back up, you’re wearing someone’s sweater and you don’t know ANYTHING about him? Tell me everything,” Beomgyu giggles.

“I was waiting for you and then some girl kept making eye contact with me and started walking towards me and you know how awkward I am around strangers so I left the room and got lost and ran into this guy and he was super nice about it but he made me sing karaoke and someone else spilled beer on me so he put his sweater on me and then took me to the kitchen to help me clean up and I don’t even fully understand what happened myself okay?” Soobin spits out in a rush, curling further into himself and gently hitting his head with the pillow. 

“I can’t believe shy little Soobin met a boy! Well he shouldn’t be THAT hard to find. We’ll ask around, see if anyone knows him.” Beomgyu pats Soobin’s knee comfortingly as he stands up and stretches his arms over his head. “This is why people go to parties you know. To meet people and have fun. Maybe you’re finally getting over your fear of flirting and it’s all thanks to me.” 

Soobin responds with a dark glare at his roommate, who is now vanishing down the hall with a wave good night and a promise to get breakfast together the next day.

“It’s not my fault that no one teaches you how to flirt with guys,” Soobin grumbles to himself. “It’s not like anyone gave me an instruction manual or anything.”

“You owe me a new shirt as well as breakfast!” Soobin shouts halfheartedly towards Beomgyu’s room, receiving only a muffled “good night” in response. 

Soobin presses his palms to his eyes and groans before standing up shakily to head to the shower. He looks at himself in the mirror, hands absentmindedly tracing the black and white checkered pattern on Yeonjun’s sweater and admiring the way it envelops him. He can’t help but get lost in thoughts about the warmth of Yeonjun’s hand, his wide smile and puffy cheeks, the timbre of his voice as he sang, the fluid way he moved around the stage. 

He really should stop thinking about this. He had only known Yeonjun for one hour and had embarrassed himself and made off with the boy’s cardigan with no way to return it. And if they did find him, what was Soobin supposed to say? Sorry for stealing your sweater and abandoning you, my roommate thinks with his feet instead of his head and couldn’t have texted me from outside? 

Yeonjun seemed confident, put together, definitely popular. Considering it logically, Soobin is no match for him. He allows himself to mope as he cleans the sweat and stench of beer from his skin and hair in the shower.

Reviewing himself again in the mirror as he pulls on a set of faded flannel pajamas, Soobin comes to a decision. New year means new hopes and dreams right? Maybe it’s time Soobin learns to be more comfortable around new people. 

“Okay,” Soobin sucks in a breath. “Tomorrow I’ll look for a club or something to join. I can do this. I need to do this.”

Holding his pinky up to his reflection in the mirror as if to promise himself, Soobin resolves to work on overcoming his anxieties. Just in case Beomgyu takes him to another party, of course. Just in case he needs the social skills.

Just in case he meets Prince Charming again.


	2. February

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How goes it folks? Your friendly neighborhood squid is back with an update.
> 
> Today we find out what activity Soobin picked and meet Hueningkai! 
> 
> Taegyu subplot brought to you by Beomgyu's (ahem)(proud teddy bear 🧸) comment on Weverse and my desire to write soft boys with good communication skills.

February 14, 6:30am

A sharp knock on the front door jolts Soobin out of his slumber. Struggling out of the tangle of blankets on his bed he blearily checks his phone - who on earth is knocking on a college student’s door at this horrible hour? The only people awake this early are people who have pulled all nighters. No one is willingly awake at 6:30am right?

Except Beomgyu apparently, judging by the soft footsteps padding towards the door. Which is decidedly weird because Beomgyu is in a committed relationship with his bed. Alright, this calls for a little investigation.

The second Soobin sheds his blankets he feels the chill in the air. As he hops on one foot and then the other to put on socks he hears the front door open followed by a shriek vaguely resembling a loud bird. Alarmed, Soobin grabs the nearest warm garment he can reach and shrugs it on before stumbling into the hallway.

“Are you okay? What is going on - oh,” Soobin stops short at the sight of Beomgyu dragging a GIANT teddy bear into the living room. 

“Gyu, what the….what is this?” Soobin forces out blearily, brain not quite caught up to the scene before him. 

Beomgyu turns around and Soobin can’t find it in his heart to be upset. His roommate almost looks angelic in the morning light filtering through the window; brown hair fluffy and sleep tousled, wrapped in a white robe, eyes shining with joy and an elated smile gracing his face.

“It’s for Valentine’s Day,” Beomgyu says without dropping the smile. “From that guy I’ve been working with class, the group project. He said he might be dropping something off this morning but I wasn’t expecting anything like this.”

“I mean that’s adorable and all but why did it have to be so early?” Soobin grumbles without any real bite. Beomgyu is reviewing the small white card in one hand and arranging the brown bear’s limbs with the other hand, propping it up against the couch.

“Taehyun likes to work out before his first class! He’s so strong, you should see his biceps,” Beomgyu responds dreamily, now seated on the floor cuddling the bear. “Don’t be jealous just because all you have is party boy’s sweater to keep you company.” 

“HEY,” Soobin lets out a scandalized shout, “his name is Yeonjun and his sweater is not keeping me company. And I’m not jealous!”

“Mmm, that’s why you’re wearing it right now right?”

Soobin looks down with wide eyes and realizes that he is, in fact, wearing Yeonjun’s black and white cardigan. Whoops. He had washed it the day after the New Year’s party and hung it neatly on the back of his bedroom door, waiting for an opportunity to give it back. And it had stayed there for a good week, nagging Soobin out of the corner of his eye as he browsed campus clubs and activities on his laptop. 

And then one day he had submitted an application to be a peer mentor for freshmen students and in the buzz of adrenaline and pride he somehow found his way into Yeonjun’s sweater, wrapping it around himself like a safety blanket to help him calm down. 

Since then he had taken to wearing it in the privacy of his bedroom whenever he needed a little mood boost, replaying the events of that night in his head and thinking of Yeonjun’s beaming smile, of warm fingers twisted with his own. 

Of course the first time he spaces out enough to wear it in front of Beomgyu is Valentine’s Day, of course. 

February 14, 11am

“Soobin! Over here!”

A loud voice rings out across the crowded common space, accompanied by a beckoning hand from a table in the corner. The owner is a freshman Soobin was assigned to mentor, an energetic, loud boy with a penchant for brightly colored hoodies and large bottles of grape juice.

Soobin winds his way through the tables, past couples exchanging kisses over their textbooks and tables littered with takeaway coffee cups. After all the fuss Beomgyu made this morning following the teddy bear delivery (“because I’m HIS teddy bear”) Soobin is already feeling mildly grumpy and definitely sleep deprived, sipping on his iced Americano with his eyes firmly on the floor as he makes it over to the corner table.

“Hey Hueningkai,” Soobin arrives at the table and greets his mentee as he slides into one of the green plastic chairs. 

Hueningkai starts chattering as Soobin digs through the jumble of loose papers, pens, pencils, and miscellaneous objects in his backpack until he finds the notebook he’s looking for. Placing it on the table alongside a pen and a pastry he picked up with the coffee, Soobin clears his throat and looks expectantly at Heuningkai.

“Okay, how is everything going? Anything in particular you want to talk about?” 

“Yes! This math class is killing me, how did you ever get through it?” Hueningkai launches into a heated discussion about the math professor, quickly drawing Soobin out of his shell as he weighs in on his least favorite subject. They touch on extracurricular activities and whether Hueningkai needs any additional support before the discussion devolves into comparing the finer points of a mobile game they’re both obsessed with. 

Soobin has a small list of students he meets with regularly as part of the mentorship program, freshman who moved to the city to attend the university and may need help accessing campus resources and fitting in, but Hueningkai is by far his favorite of the bunch. The younger boy has a way of making him forget his awkwardness, and Soobin felt the need to care for Hueningkai the moment he first caught a glimpse of the dolphin plush the boy surreptitiously carries in his bag. 

Although his meetings with the other students are generally brief and to the point, Soobin is spending more time with Hueningkai each time they meet, opening up bit by bit about his own life outside of school. He might even consider the two of them friends, which is presumably why the words fly out of his mouth so easily when Hueningkai asks why Soobin looks so exhausted and down today.

“My roommate got a giant teddy bear delivered at 6:30 this morning from his crush and I was accidentally wearing someone else’s sweater when it got there,” Soobin mopes, chin in his left hand as his right hand swirls the plastic straw around his coffee cup, making the melting ice dance.

“Oh wow. I guess I can understand why you would be tired since you got up so early, although anyone should be happy that there are more plushies in the house,” Hueningkai responds. “But what’s the deal with the sweater? How is that connected?”

Hueningkai shakes his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes and listens attentively as Soobin gives a brief summary of the events of New Years Eve. He’s just reached the part where he’s wearing Yeonjun’s sweater while complaining about Valentine’s Day when Hueningkai interrupts with a series of rapid taps of his hand on the table.

“Hey what did you say he looked like again?” 

“Uh. A little shorter than me, squishy cheeks, dark blue hair, plump lips…” Soobin trails off, lost in thought once again. 

“First, never tell me about anyone’s lips again, gross. Second, I think I just saw your mystery boy walking down that hallway.”

Soobin whips his head around and follows Hueningkai’s extended finger to the hall leading to the elevator banks. He catches a glimpse of that distinctive blue hair, now faded to show brown roots, disappearing around the corner and stands up so fast that he tips the entire table away from him. 

Hueningkai screeches as melting ice cubes and watered down coffee dregs splash out of the overturned coffee cup and land in his lap. Brown liquid drips off the edge of the grey plastic table as it settles back on all four feet, the sound drawing curious glances from the surrounding tables.

Soobin ducks his head to avoid the stares of the other students and focuses on apologizing profusely to Hueningkai, finding some spare napkins in his backpack to mop up the mess on the table and throwing a few more at Hueningkai to soak up the liquid in his lap. 

Once the table is dry and Hueningkai appeased with the promise of ice cream at their next meeting, Soobin rests his head in his hands with a grimace. 

“I can’t believe I saw him again and spilled another drink. This can’t be a thing.”

With a hearty chuckle Hueningkai pats Soobin’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Maybe if you stand in the middle of the courtyard and pour a jug of water over your head you’ll attract him. The siren song of clumsy Soobin must be too strong to resist.” 

“That is not helpful,” Soobin retorts with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t you have class to get to? Come on, let’s get moving. I can’t be the reason you’re late, I’m supposed to be your role model.”

Hueningkai throws his head back with a cackle, but makes to gather his things and stand up. 

“You’re not supposed to be the reason I’m damp and smell of coffee either. Some role model you are,” Hueningkai fires back in a teasing tone of voice. Ignoring Soobin’s pained squeak, Hueningkai pats Soobin’s belly as he passes, leaving Soobin alone with the pile of soggy napkins in the middle of the table and his wounded pride. 

February 14, 6pm

Soobin gets home later than usual, having returned to the common space after class to study. Well, he had made a valiant effort at least, taking out his laptop and opening the details for an upcoming assignment. After typing a few sentences, however, he slowly surrendered to distraction. Every flash of blue from the corner of his eye had him looking up, scanning the river of people for another glimpse of Yeonjun. 

So when Soobin opens the front door to the smell of warm bread and the sound of laughter, he’s both hungry and confused. 

“Welcome back Binnie!” Beomgyu calls from the couch, lifting his head off the shoulder of the red-headed boy next to him. “There’s extra pizza if you want some!”

“Thanks, I’m starving. Who’s this?” Soobin leaves his shoes and coat by the door, depositing his backpack on the floor on his way inside. He swings into the kitchen to wash his hands and slide two slices of pizza onto a plate, grabbing a soda from the fridge and returning to the living room to hear Beomgyu’s answer.

“This is Taehyun! He’s…he’s the one I’m doing my project with.” Beomgyu explains with a slight blush, looking shyly at the boy next to him like he’s not sure what terms to use.

Taehyun pops up from the couch and extends his hand, forcing Soobin to set his pizza down on the coffee table to shake it.

“It’s nice to meet you Soobin. I apologize for the disturbance this morning, Beomgyu told me that you woke up as well.” 

Taehyun is all angles to Beomgyu’s softness, choppy bangs styled to expose strong eyebrows and accentuate a striking jawline. As Beomgyu giggles and pulls him back onto the couch, Soobin notices that the two are wearing what appears to be matching white sweaters and jeans. It would be sickening if his roommate didn’t look so happy (the free pizza doesn’t hurt either). 

“Nice to meet you too. Uh I can leave you two alone if you want, sorry for interrupting,” Soobin stutters out, feeling awkward at the sight of Beomgyu draping himself over Taehyun’s left side. 

“No no, sit down! I have something to talk to you both about actually,” Beomgyu waves at Soobin, gesturing for the taller boy to sit down and planting a kiss on Taehyun’s cheek to chase away the uncomfortable smile plastered there.

“Both of us?” Taehyun ventures quizzically. Soobin tilts his head sideways in agreement as he starts shoveling pizza into his mouth, washing it down with sips of soda.

“Since you’re my two favorite people,” Beomgyu starts, eliciting a fierce blush from Taehyun and a muffled splutter from Soobin, “I thought it would be good for you to get to know each other a little better. Taehyunnie does a radio show and you need to work on talking to strangers, right? You should guest star!” he says with a conspiratorial wink in Soobin’s direction.

“What would we even do?”  
“Why would anyone want me on their radio program?”

Taehyun and Soobin exchange incredulous glances at each other as their overlapping questions fill the silence, causing Beomgyu to put his hands in the air as if to soothe them.

“Hear me out! Taehyun, you’ve been talking about trying an ASMR segment right? And Soobin has the perfect voice for it. Soft and soothing, and he’s a master at speaking quietly already,” Beomgyu pleads. “Soobin, you did say you wanted to get out there and try new things. And maybe Yeonjun will be listening. Maybe he’ll recognize your voice and be compelled to track you down!”

Soobin pauses for a moment, lost in thought. At least with a radio show he’s not appearing in front of people, and Beomgyu does have a point about Yeonjun. He’ll never have a productive semester if today’s obsessive people watching continues, and it would make his roommate happy…

“I don’t know anything about ASMR,” Soobin states carefully, “or doing radio programs. I’m not sure I’d be much good.” 

Beomgyu briefly clenches a fist in victory, already knowing that Soobin will agree, before turning the full brunt of his big brown eyes on the boy sitting next to him. Hand tangling in Taehyun’s sweater, Beomgyu looks at him with all the innocence in the world and begins to make his case in hushed tones.

Soobin focuses on drinking the rest of his soda and scrolling through his phone while the other two whisper back and forth. He really doesn’t know anything about ASMR; wouldn’t hurt to see what it’s all about right? Curiosity piqued, Soobin scrolls through several articles and opens a few videos in separate tabs to watch later. 

He’s pulled from his investigation by Taehyun’s voice asking “okay Soobin, Beomgyu will give you my phone number. We can talk more about a guest appearance on my show sometime this week alright?”

Soobin shoots a cursory glance at Beomgyu, receiving an encouraging nod in reply, and agrees. He stands up with his clean plate and empty soda can and heads back towards the kitchen, maneuvering around the large brown bear still in the living room on his way out. 

“I have some stuff to catch up on so I’m headed to my room. It was nice to meet you Taehyun. I hope you have a pleasant night.” Soobin bows slightly towards the lovebirds, grabs his backpack, and heads down the hall to his bedroom. Where he is definitely not going to put on Yeonjun’s sweater again and live vicariously through the characters of his favorite romance movies. Definitely not. 

💖💖💖

“Thank you for indulging my request,” Beomgyu says into Taehyun’s ear as they check out movie options on the TV. “I’ve never seen Soobin so interested in anyone before and he needs a serious push - or five.” 

“I understand. I don’t know how helpful I’ll be but I support your mission. Not everyone has your confidence after all.”

They exchange smiles as Beomgyu selects a movie and cuddles further into Taehyun. A few quiet moments pass under the glow of the introductory scenes before Beomgyu straightens up and faces Taehyun.

“Hey I wanted to check in. You seemed a little uncomfortable when I kissed your cheek in front of Soobin. Was that not okay?”

“Oh Beommie. I’m sorry if I made you worry. I’m a little…I don’t know, I’m not used to physical affection in front of other people I guess.”

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.”

“No it’s okay. It’s not bad. Just different? You don’t have to stop. I think maybe I like it.” Taehyun utters the last words hesitantly, immediately rewarded with a look from Beomgyu that rivals the heart eyes emoji.

“Aw thanks for explaining, for trusting me enough to explain. And thanks again for Beargyu, I love him already,” Beomgyu moves to lean back against Taehyun but is stopped by Taehyun’s hands on his shoulders.

“Actually about tonight,” Taehyun starts, clearing his throat. “I know it’s cliche to do this on Valentine’s Day but after hearing about Soobin’s situation I don’t want to risk waiting. Will you ah. Will you…will you be my boyfriend?”

“OF COURSE I WILL!” Beomgyu shouts, leaping up from the couch and hopping back and forth from one foot to the other in joy. “Come here!”

Beomgyu pulls Taehyun up and cradles the redhead’s face in his hands, looking tenderly into his eyes. One hand slides to the back of Taehyun’s neck and Beomgyu tilts his head and leans down to capture Taehyun’s lips in a gentle kiss, eliciting soft sighs from both boys.

💖💖💖

Soobin peeks his head out of his bedroom just in time to catch the kiss, deciding to check on the two when he heard Beomgyu’s shout. With a blush Soobin swiftly closes the door again and collapses facedown onto his bed. 

He’s happy for Beomgyu, he really is. If anyone deserves the love and adoration of a doting boyfriend, it’s his roommate. But his heart aches for the possibilities. Who knows what his own Prince Charming is doing right now? 

A pit forms in Soobin’s stomach as he realizes that Yeonjun could be spending the day with someone else, sharing kisses and watching movies like Beomgyu and Taehyun. Soobin resolves to put aside his trepidation about the radio show and double down in his efforts to find Yeonjun, to be confident enough to approach him when the time comes. 

Waiting in the common space in hopes of crossing paths with the other boy is too passive. It’s time to follow Beomgyu’s lead. 

And to use more caution when standing up. Maybe look into some kind of physical activity to help his coordination. The idea of exercising isn’t appealing, but the idea of embarrassing himself again in front of Yeonjun is even worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me friends. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up in a similar time frame. Thank you to everyone who left comments/kudos and bookmarked this fic, I appreciate you. 
> 
> Also, did everyone see Yeonbin's snowman tweet? I swear I barely need to think of plot at this rate 😂
> 
> Stay safe and healthy MOA!


	3. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soobin receives a gift on Beomgyu's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay y'all, my chronic illness is not being very Plus Ultra right now and I haven't had the spoons for writing. I'm still going through it so pls be patient with me <3 
> 
> Also happy (early) birthday to Taehyun! Thanks for working so hard for MOAs, staying active on Weverse, and slaying every day. Make sure you give him lots of love on the 5th!

March 13, 5pm

“Finally!” Soobin exclaims when he opens the door to Hueningkai’s smiling face. He ushers the younger boy in quickly, showing him where to leave his sneakers before guiding the boy to stand near the back of the couch. 

“My friend is here, stop being gross and come say hi,” Soobin calls to Beomgyu and Taehyun. The two are sitting on the floor on opposing sides of the coffee table locked in a furious game of arm wrestling, elbows firmly planted on the glass. 

“But I’m winning!” Beomgyu protests, shaking arm and gritted teeth betraying him. Taehyun’s back is to the entrance but his posture looks relaxed, grip on Beomgyu’s hand steady. Hueningkai snickers quietly moments later when Taehyun flattens Beomgyu’s arm against the table with ease and stands, leaning across the back of the couch to shake hands.

“Hi, I’m Taehyun. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Hueningkai. I think we’re in the same biology lecture?” 

“Oh I see, so you’re going to mercilessly destroy your boyfriend on his BIRTHDAY and then ignore him,” Beomgyu whines, resettling his blue and yellow plaid flannel on his slender frame. Upon rising he brushes off the backs of his jeans and moves to join Taehyun, left hand sneaking into Taehyun’s right.

“Yes, I think we are. And this is my boyfriend Beomgyu,” Taehyun explains with a slightly pained expression. “Today is his birthday, in case you missed it. He’s only announcing it every 10 minutes.”

Beomgyu swats at Taehyun and then offers his free hand to Hueningkai. 

“Thanks for coming over, it’s good to meet someone new in Soobin’s life!” Beomgyu greets Hueningkai brightly. “Come sit down. Unless you want to help Soobin in the kitchen?”

Hueningkai giggles and then looks at Soobin with a hint of alarm as the last word sinks in. 

“Kitchen? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Soobin huffs and crosses his arms in response to Beomgyu’s peals of laughter and Taehyun’s wry smile. He hasn’t had any more beverage related accidents since Valentine’s Day, but everyone present knows he’s not exactly a master chef.

“I’m baking cookies for Beomgyu’s birthday. And I happen to be good at baking, thank you very much!” Soobin retorts. He pushes the sleeves of his black sweatshirt up to his elbows and marches towards the kitchen, calling back as he goes, “You’re welcome to join me but otherwise I’ll leave you to the mercy of the two lovebirds as penance for your insolence.”

Any reservations Soobin had about inviting Heuningkai over for his roommate’s birthday dinner evaporate immediately upon hearing the cacophony of laughter and loud voices drifting from the living room as the three get acquainted. 

Soobin busies himself with the painstaking process of measuring the wet ingredients to mix into the concoction already in the bowl. Someone changes the music to something more upbeat and Soobin taps his foot while he mixes. He can hear Taehyun and Hueningkai regale Beomgyu with details about the TA in their biology class, Beomgyu returning the favor with tales from his theater class. 

It's nice to have someone else around to keep Beomgyu and Taehyun from retreating into their own little world together, Soobin thinks. He feels like a third wheel, a little too shy to try to engage in conversation when the couple starts exchanging kisses on the couch or flirting across the dinner table. And he could certainly learn from Hueningkai's confidence.

He's just finishing sliding two trays of cookies into the oven and setting a timer when he hears Beomgyu call his name from the other room. He realizes that conversation has stopped, the boys are awaiting his response.

"Uh yeah?" Soobin sticks his head out of the kitchen and sees Taehyun and Beomgyu sprawled across the couch with Hueningkai on the floor cuddling the Valentine's bear. Leave it to Hueningkai to immediately cozy up to any plushie in the vicinity without a hint of awkwardness.

"Come here, Taehyun has something to tell you!" Beomgyu calls, gesturing for Soobin to join them. He and Taehyun rearrange themselves on the couch to create a space for Soobin, Taehyun practically sitting in Beomgyu's lap. Despite his misgivings at the devilish glint in Beomgyu's eyes, Soobin wipes his hands on the kitchen towel and makes his way to the empty space on the couch.

No sooner has Soobin's butt hit the couch than Beomgyu is talking excitedly. 

"Okay so remember the ASMR show you did with Taehyun? I mean of course you remember, it was only a week ago. Anyways he has some fantastic news!" Beomgyu nudges at Taehyun's neck with his nose, clearly eager for Taehyun to share.

"Yes I remember. I hope you're not asking me to do it again because it was so frustrating to whisper so much," Soobin answers warily.

"Wait fill me in, ASMR radio show? You have a radio show?" Hueningkai interrupts, dropping Beargyu's arm to lean forward and make eye contact with Taehyun. Todays lavender hoodie and light wash jeans make him look especially boyish and eager and Soobin feels a wave of fondness wash over him.

"Yeah, although it's not normally about ASMR. We mostly play music and keep people updated about campus activities, the usual stuff. But we do have a variety segment. Normally we do interviews or use the time to highlight artists and musicians on campus," Taehyun pauses to shoot a glance at Beomgyu, "but ASMR is popular and Beomgyu said Soobin's voice would be perfect for it.”

"And it was! I listened to it you know," Beomgyu's voice bears a hint of indignation as he responds, "I knew Soobin would be good at ASMR.”

"Gyu, I had to step out of the room halfway through to scream because I was going crazy with all the whispering," Soobin protests with a frown. 

"But the listeners don't know that! My wonderful boyfriend took care of everything," Beomgyu brags, arms squeezing around Taehyun’s waist to emphasize the words. ”If you'd stop telling people then no one will know. Anyways, let’s get to Taehyun’s news!”

Taehyun waits until Soobin and Hueningkai are quiet and attentive before he speaks.

"Right, so a few days after your guest segment, someone came to the studio looking for me. Or rather....for you. He said he heard the show and he was looking for more information about the ASMR guest.”

One side of Soobin's mouth lifts in confusion and a frown forms as he wonders why anyone would be that interested based on his voice alone. He thinks back to the whispered conversation he shared with Taehyun but nothing stands out as especially memorable.

"I asked what exactly he wanted with you. He said that the voice was familiar and he wanted to know your name to see if it was the person he was thinking of. I didn't want to give any information out to someone random so I told him that he could write a note and I would give it to you.”

Soobin is perplexed, looking between Taehyun's serious face and Beomgyu's poorly concealed smile. "Um, do you know who he was at all? I don't know why my voice would be that familiar to anyone I guess? Thanks for not just giving him what he asked for though, sounds kinda creepy.”

"He didn't seem creepy. Just...intent. Like he was on a mission. He was excited about the note though, spent at least 10 minutes muttering to himself and tossing drafts in the trash before he finished. I have the note here if you want it.”

"I guess, yeah.”

Everyone falls silent while Taehyun fishes a small square of paper from a pocket, paper rustling when it exchanges hands. Beomgyu looks nearly ready to pass out when Soobin takes the note and inspects the exterior.

"Open itttttttt," he pleads despite Taehyun's elbow making gentle contact with his ribs. Hueningkai is captivated too, drawn in by the mystery.

There's nothing on the outside of the note, just the pale lines from the sheet of paper presumably ripped from a notebook. Soobin unfolds it carefully and smooths the note out on his thighs, taking in the neat handwriting as he reads.

Hi! I'm sorry if this is weird but I heard you do the ASMR segment on the campus radio station and I think I know you. Well, I think we met once. If I'm wrong you can totally ignore this note. My name is Yeonjun and I met this cute guy at a New Years party a few months ago and his voice sounded a lot like yours. I'd like to find him again so if your name is Soobin and you sang karaoke with me on New Years, text me? Only if you want to of course. My number is below.

If you're not Soobin, I am so sorry for bothering you. And you have a nice voice! Anyways, I hope you are Soobin and that I hear from you.

-Yeonjun

Soobin finishes reading silently, hands shaking. He looks up, bewildered, and Beomgyu screams.

"IT'S SWEATER BOY RIGHT?" 

Hueningkai screeches and snatches the note from Soobin's hand to read it becomes clear that Soobin is capable only of stunned blinking. When Soobin finally responds, his voice cracks.

"How...how did you know? How did this happen?”

"I read the note of course! I wasn't going to let Taehyun give you anything from some creep, and besides the description Taehyun gave me sounded right. It IS him right? Your Yeonjun?”

"He's not MY anything," Soobin splutters, “but....yes? I think it's him?" 

Hueningkai has finished reading during this exchange and hands the note back, patting Soobin on the back. "This is great! You've only been talking about him for a month, now you can meet him again!”

Soobin inhales sharply at the realization that he might actually talking to Yeonjun again. 

"He probably just wants his sweater back," Soobin hedges, suddenly incredibly nervous.

"Come on, he called you CUTE. He recognized your voice on the radio and came LOOKING FOR YOU. He's probably forgotten all about the sweater by now! He's interested in YOU!" Beomgyu is practically shouting now, gesturing wildly. 

"He did take a long time to write the note," Taehyun adds quietly. "He seemed a little nervous.”

"Didn't you say you thought he was going to kiss you at the party?" Hueningkai adds to Soobin’s chagrin.

“Yes, exactly! See Soobin even your new friend knows!” Beomgyu chimes in.

"I-I guess. This is crazy. I don't know what to do." Soobin folds the note again as if he's handling lace, setting it down on the table in front of him and studying it carefully.

"What do you mean? Text him! He gave you his number! Oh this is so romantic," Beomgyu sighs, swiping the back of his hand across his forehead dramatically and throwing his head back against the couch. Taehyun giggles and leans in to peck Beomgyu's cheek, Beomgyu turning his head in time to catch Taehyun's lips with his own.

They’re broken apart by the loud ringing of the kitchen timer signaling the cookies are done. Soobin stands on shaky legs and moves silently to take the trays out of the oven. He tries to focus on the task at hand, sliding each cookie carefully from the baking trays to a cooling rack in neat lines. He has a whole night of dinner and dessert ahead of him.

March 13, 10pm

Finally in bed full of takeout and cookies, the sound of laughter and good conversation echoing in his head, Soobin unfolds the note again. He had tried his best to put it out of his mind for the rest of the night to focus on Beomgyu's birthday celebration, determined not to let his internal struggle interrupt the festivities. 

Truthfully, Yeonjun's note had been consuming him since he had put it in his bedroom (much to the amusement of Beomgyu and Hueningkai, who teased Soobin about spilling a drink on it). He still wasn't sure he believed his friends about the reason for Yeonjun seeking him out, but Beomgyu had pulled Soobin aside before bed and made him promise to at least text the number.

Now Soobin picks up his phone and opens a new message, entering Yeonjun's number carefully, triple checking to make sure it's correct. He stares at the blinking cursor in the text field until the screen dims and goes dark. What is he supposed to say?

[Hi this is the recipient of the note you gave to the radio host-]

Yikes, way too formal. 

[My name is Soobin and I got your number from a note that you left-]

He feels so awkward, ears red as he types and deletes message after message. Eventually he throws his phone down on the bed beside him and groans, rolling over to press his face into the pillow.

"Ughhhh why am I so bad at this!" Soobin exclaims. He gets up to pace the small space between his bed and desk in despair. After a few passes he finds himself in front of his bedroom door reaching once again for his safety blanket, Yeonjun's sweater. Guilt gnaws at him when he realizes he's probably holding Yeonjun's sweater hostage by not trying to reach out to him and give it back. He knows what he needs to do.

Picking up his phone once again and willing the butterflies in his stomach to go away, Soobin opens the new message and types.

[Hello, this is Soobin. You wanted to talk to me?]

Soobin presses send before he can chicken out and drops his phone like a hot coal. He’s at once freezing and overheated, head spinning and stomach in knots. The questions start flooding his mind; what if Yeonjun is mad at him for stealing the sweater? What if he thinks Soobin’s text is lame and changes his mind? What if- 

The response comes almost immediately. 

[Soobin, hi! You got my note then? I'm so happy to hear from you!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for tuning in again and for the kudos and comments! I'm excited to write the next chapter as soon as my body stops kicking my ass :]
> 
> Come chat with me @grandsquid1 on Twitter if you want! Currently losing my mind over Choi Beomgyu's entire existence and sword dance Yoongi (hahahaha I'm not okay).


	4. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A 4/20 adventure for the ages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay y'all this chapter had a life of its own. The subject material can be a little heavy but it's also a common experience so I'm hopeful it still comes across well.
> 
> Please mind the tags, which I have now updated!
> 
> Check the notes at the end for further thoughts.

April 20, 1:25pm

Campus is suspiciously empty. 

The halls should be packed with students trudging from one class to another, yawning into their coffee or frantically reviewing notes. The common spaces full of chattering as friends meet between classes or settle in to study. Desks should be occupied already when he arrives for classes. But today it’s like a ghost town. 

When he got to his first class of the day he immediately checked his email, alarmed that he had missed an important announcement about classes being cancelled. Perhaps some kind of campus-wide event? 

But there’s nothing in his email or on the university website, and if it’s student organized he won’t be able to find out about it via official channels. The professors aren’t concerned about it either, barely acknowledging the lackluster attendance except in passing, and as far as he knows his friends all went to class today as well.

Now his last class is wrapping up and Soobin could not be more ready to go home. They were split into small discussion groups to go over the reading and Soobin is worn out from talking to the two girls he’s partnered with. They know each other already and keep getting sidetracked with the details of their plans after class and it’s been awkward to say the least.

The girls seem to notice how uncomfortable Soobin is because they exchange a flurry of whispers and then one of them reaches into her bag and pulls out a plastic container. 

“Do you want a brownie? They’re….special, you know,” she says with a wink, box settled in her lap under the desk. 

“Special how? Like a special recipe? I should experiment with adding extras next time I make brownies,” Soobin muses, excited to talk to another baker.

“Yeah, there’s a special ingredient added,” her friend says, emphasizing the word special. “Get it?”

Before Soobin can respond the teacher announces that class is over, accompanied by the screech of chairs pushed back from desks and backpacks being zipped up. The girl with the box raises her eyebrows at Soobin and jiggles the box in her lap urgently, and Soobin isn’t one to turn down baked goods so he nods.

She hands him a square wrapped in foil and tells him to have fun, quickly jamming the box back into her bag and getting up to leave. Soobin thanks her and packs his own belongings into his backpack. 

He heads home to take a nap, enjoying the brownie on the way.

April 20, 3pm

Soobin wakes to the distant sound of waterfalls and a creeping dryness in the back of his throat. He’s practically entombed in his blankets, hot and sweaty and confused. The process of straightening out and sitting up feels like it takes forever, and his limbs are strangely heavy.

When Soobin finally manages to get out of bed, his disorientation grows. He’s vaguely dizzy and although he’s still hot, there’s an icy sensation spiking through his bones. There’s no way he got this sick this fast right? He was fine this morning.

He stumbles into the kitchen and gulps down two glasses of water in quick succession. The cold liquid helps but doesn’t completely cut the fuzzy feeling on his tongue. He scans the contents of the fridge for something else that might help and discovers that he’s feeling nauseous. Bottle of soda it is then.

A thought strikes Soobin with the soda bottle halfway to his mouth for a drink. If he’s sick he should check his temperature! He goes to the bathroom to hunt down the thermometer and promptly forgets to look for it when he catches sight of himself in the mirror. Is that….has he always looked like this? His face seems a little off; the proportions are funny and everything is tinted an odd shade of yellow.

And why are his eyes so red? Is he dying? Now that he thinks of it, it sounds like the air is full of static. That’s definitely not normal. He stumbles back and collides with the bathroom door, which strangely doesn’t hurt as much as it should. Brain tumor? Stroke?

He needs help, obviously. Where is his phone? After a panicked search of his room, he finds his phone in plain sight plugged into the charger. He sits on the floor with his back to his bed and his knees drawn up to his chest, wrapped in a blanket to keep the pressing weight of the air at bay. 

The hospital and the school clinic are immediately out. Venturing outside into the real world is definitely not an option with the way he’s feeling, not with all the strangers he’d need to interact with. Beomgyu is in class. If memory serves Taehyun and Hueningkai are both busy with sports and piano lessons respectively, although he could be totally wrong because that’s how brain tumors work. He’s not close enough to any of his other acquaintances to ask for help deciphering this mystery illness.

Also, where is that soda he had earlier? Staring at his phone screen is making his dry mouth so much worse. 

Soobin freezes for several minutes, staring into space and contemplating his options. Standing up seems risky; he’s still dizzy and the last thing he needs is a concussion to finish him off. He shouldn’t be alone though, what if he starts having seizures or chokes on his own vomit or something!

A thousand bees are buzzing under his skin. What if….what if he texted Yeonjun?

About a week after Beomgyu’s birthday, he met up with Yeonjun to return the older boys sweater. Made a proper fool of himself too, stuttering and staring. Yeonjun, you see, is a dancer, and Soobin met him at the dance studio between classes. Of course he was going to be unfocused and flustered with Yeonjun bending this way and that to complete a stretching routine while they talked. When more students started showing up for class Soobin had high tailed it out of there with pink cheeks and a racing heart. 

Although the two had texted a little in the ensuing weeks, Yeonjun was extremely busy preparing for an upcoming showcase on top of his regular classwork, making it hard to carry an actual conversation. Privately Soobin was also of the opinion that Yeonjun probably wasn’t interested now that he had seen Soobin in the light of day. 

But this is a good plan right? Risky, but he can’t make more of a fool of himself than he already has and he’s probably not destined to live much longer anyways. 

Soobin  
I think I’m dying

Yeonjun  
What??

Soobin  
I took a nap after class and I woke up feeling weird  
I think it’s a brain tumor

Yeonjun  
Weird how? I doubt it’s a brain tumor

Soobin  
I wasn’t expecting you to text back so quickly

Yeonjun  
Professor cancelled class cause no one showed up   
Back to the topic at hand, why do you think you’re dying? What happened?

Soobin  
No one showed up to my class either!   
I don’t know why  
I feel like I missed something 

Yeonjun  
Soobin. What are you feeling right now?

Soobin  
Hot  
Dizzy  
Heavy  
My mouth is really dry  
There’s a funny static sound in the air too  
Maybe I should go to the hospital, sorry

Yeonjun  
And you don’t know what today is?  
Don’t go to the hospital

Soobin  
Thursday? 

Yeonjun  
You’re not dying. Everything will be alright. You’re alone?

Soobin  
My roommate is in class  
I left my soda in the living room

Yeonjun  
Give me directions  
I’m coming over

Soobin  
Why?

Yeonjun  
You shouldn’t be alone right now  
Are you hungry?

Soobin  
Wow  
Yes  
I was nauseous earlier  
I wish I had another brownie

Yeonjun  
A brownie? Okay this explains a lot  
Stay where you are till I get there ok? And don’t eat anything else

April 20, 4pm

A knock at the door startles Soobin. After his exchange with Yeonjun he felt well enough to relocate to the couch and sip on his soda. Now his heart is racing as he approaches the door, palms sweaty on the handle.

“You’re still alive,” Yeonjun says with a smile when the door swings open. He’s carrying a plastic convenience store bag in one hand and a black gym bag slung over the other shoulder. Soobin’s brain malfunctions when Yeonjun takes a step towards him.

“Gonna let me in? I have snacks,” Yeonjun says, hoisting the plastic bag for inspection. 

“S-sorry, come in.”

“Have you just been sitting here in silence? No wonder you’re stressed. Let’s watch a movie or something?” Yeonjun takes off his sneakers and drops his gym bag by the door, carrying the plastic bag to the coffee table and gesturing at the TV.

“Uhh what do you want to watch?” 

“Whatever you want. Pick something you like. Are you going to watch from all the way over there?”

Soobin blushes when he realizes that he hasn’t left his spot by the front door, too busy staring at the beautiful boy before him. He almost trips over the couch on his way across the room when Yeonjun pushes his hair, now a stormy grey, away his forehead and looks over at him.

“Are you always this clumsy?” Yeonjun asks with his hands on his hips. “Here, sit down. Once you’ve chosen a movie you can have some snacks.” 

Soobin sits gingerly towards one end of the couch and picks up the remote. What should he choose? He doesn’t want to pick something that Yeonjun doesn’t like, or thinks is stupid or childish…also the buttons on the remote might be wiggling. In the interest of obtaining snacks, Soobin makes a selection.

“Oh this movie is epic! Good choice,” Yeonjun comments when the beginning of Avengers: Infinity War starts playing. “Start with this.”

Yeonjun grabs a bottle of orange juice off the table and hands it to Soobin, sitting down on the couch just a few inches away. He watches closely as Soobin uncaps the bottle and begins to drink, only relaxing into the cushions once half the bottle is gone.

“So you said you had a brownie earlier right? Where did you get it?”

“A girl in class gave it to me. She said there was a special ingredient but class ended before I could find out what it was. It obviously wasn’t fruit or nuts though.” 

“No, I expect it was weed. Today is 4/20; that’s why so few people came to class. Good job,” Yeonjun comments absently as he takes the now empty juice bottle from Soobin and places it on the side of the table. “Citrus helps with anxiety if you’re too high. Now let’s get something in your stomach.”

WEED?? Oh no, no no no. What if he gets stopped by the police and they drug test him and he goes to prison? What if someone finds out and he gets expelled? What will he tell his parents then?

“Shhh hey, none of that is going to happen.”

Soobin must have accidentally said all that out loud because Yeonjun is rubbing small circles on his upper back and looking at him with concern. The touch is anchoring, slowing the thoughts bouncing around inside his head.

“You’ll feel better soon, this isn’t permanent. I’ve got you. Do you like gummies? I brought a variety. I also brought chips if you want something salty.” Yeonjun gestures at the options on the table with his free hand, other hand trailing up and down the line of Soobin’s spine over his shirt. 

The mention of gummies pulls Soobin out of shock. He leans forwards to select a bag from the table, making a small noise of excitement when he sees his favorite kind. When he leans back, Yeonjun’s arm encircles his shoulders.

“Is this okay? Physical contact can help you feel more grounded but I can move if you want,” Yeonjun asks, voice tinged with uncertainty.

“Yes, this is….” Soobin trails off while he pops a gummy into his mouth, eyes lighting up at the taste. The flavors are brighter and stronger, the texture satisfying as he chews. “So good!” 

Soobin’s eyes go wide when Yeonjun laughs and squeezes his shoulder. Panic washes over him for a moment as he tries to figure out what he did that was so amusing, but it washes away with Yeonjun’s next words.

“Good. Let me know if you need anything okay?”

Soobin nods solemnly in agreement, mouth full of candy. A comfortable silence falls as the two pay attention to the movie.

April 20, 6pm

“I’m hooooomeeeeee!” Soobin’s eyes fly open at Beomgyu’s call and the sound of the front door opening. He feels groggy and confused; did he fall asleep sitting up on the couch? 

“Good morning,” Yeonjun’s soft voice comes from somewhere above his head.

“Oh! I didn’t know you had someone over, why didn’t you tell me?” he hears Beomgyu enquire behind him. Reality finally catches up with Soobin and he realizes he must have fallen asleep on Yeonjun’s shoulder. Yeonjun’s very comfortable shoulder, encased in soft black cotton and smelling of grapefruit and wood. 

That’s right, he ate a weed brownie and Yeonjun came over to calm him down. He’s definitely still high now too, but not enough to escape the embarrassment over the situation.

“I - ugh,” Soobin stops talking almost as fast as he starts, once again parched. Yeonjun scoops a bottle of water off the table and hands it to Soobin, who is now sitting upright and blushing fiercely. 

“Hello, I’m Yeonjun, Soobin’s….friend. It sounds like he got an edible from a classmate and didn’t know what it was. He thought he was dying and he said no one was home with him so I came over to make sure he was okay.” 

Yeonjun stands and turns so that he can shake Beomgyu’s hand across the back of the couch. Soobin swivels his head a little, wincing as a mild throbbing starts in his temples, to see a wide grin spread across Beomgyu’s face. 

“Oh, Yeonjun! I’ve heard sooooo much about you,” Beomgyu starts.

“Bathroom,” Soobin mumbles, standing on wobbly legs and making his escape as Beomgyu continues talking to Yeonjun. He’s pretty sure his skin is going to burn off with the intensity of his blush, already anticipating the comments Beomgyu will make later. 

When Soobin emerges, the movie is paused, table is clean, and Yeonjun is standing by the door with his shoes on, chatting with Beomgyu. 

“Soobin! I have to go - I have some class work to take care of,” Yeonjun starts apologetically. Beomgyu winks at Soobin and excuses himself to his room to change into more comfortable clothes. “I hope you’re feeling better?”

Soobin’s heart sinks a little with the knowledge that Yeonjun is leaving. He approaches and replies in a small voice, “yes, thank you. I’m sorry I was such a mess. Thank you for helping.”

Yeonjun smiles broadly and opens his arms to draw Soobin into a hug. He breaks into goosebumps at the sensation of Yeonjun’s warm breath on his neck, electricity sparking where their bodies are in contact. 

“I’m actually glad we got the chance to hang out. Oh, and I guess I have something else for you. You don’t have to take it but your roommate told me that you liked my sweater? I don’t have it with me but this hoodie is the same size?” Yeonjun releases Soobin and pulls a grey sweatshirt from his gym bag, holding it awkwardly out towards Soobin.

“I’m going to kill him,” Soobin mutters, looking at the floor. 

“Sorry, sorry. You don’t have to take it, I just thought it would help to have something cozy to wear. You know, since you’ll probably be high for the rest of the night.”

There’s a hit of disappointment in Yeonjun’s voice. Soobin forces himself to look up and meet Yeonjun’s eyes, taking the jacket from Yeonjun’s outstretched hand. 

“Th-thank you. For everything,” he stutters.

“Really, I’m glad I could help. Maybe next time we can finish the movie? But like, sober of course,” Yeonjun responds with a nervous laugh. 

Soobin makes a startled noise in response. Next time? Yeonjun wants to see him again? Even though he was such a disaster today? He realizes Yeonjun is blushing a steadily deeper red fidgeting with the strap of his bag.

“Next time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things you should know!
> 
> -the author has worked at recreational and medical dispensaries and has personal experience with cannabis, as well as harm reduction strategies; everything described is based on real situations and real people
> 
> -obviously, don't give anyone any drugs or medications without being explicitly clear about their contents and dosage
> 
> Feel free to chat with me on Twitter @grandsquid1 if you have any questions or concerns about safe drug use 😊
> 
> Thanks for your encouraging comments and kudos! I hope you're as excited for the next chapter as I am!


	5. May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around y'all. I'm still trying my best so I appreciate your patience!
> 
> My apartment complex has decided that now is the correct time to renovate 🙃 and thus is not allowing me to renew my lease. Finding a new place to live has been stressful and time consuming and while I still have details to handle, I do have somewhere lined up! I'm hopeful that I can keep the adulting to a minimum this month so that I can write freely. 
> 
> Enjoy!

May 10, 2pm

“I can’t believe you’re not a freshman anymore! They grow up so fast,” Soobin laments while ruffling Hueningkai’s hair.

“And I can’t believe your hair is purple!” Heuningkai reaches over to ruffle Soobin’s hair in return, earning him an indignant yelp.

“Whaff mrong wif purpfle?” Yeonjun asks around a mouthful of cookies. A trickle of crumbs falls from the corner of his mouth, tiny pieces landing on his black shirt and the scuffed white countertop.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with purple?” Soobin parrots, grabbing a cookie from the paper plate in front of them. The three are crowded around the tiny kitchen island in Yeonjun’s apartment, snacking on the cookies Soobin brought.

Hueningkai laughs uneasily and opens his mouth to reply, but Yeonjun beats him to the punch.

“I think Soobin is cute. Especially with this yellow beret.” Yeonjun reaches across the counter to brush Soobin’s bangs, still messy from Hueningkai’s ministrations, away from his eye and towards the rim of the floppy hat.

Soobin chokes on his cookie. He still isn’t used to the new color, having dyed it due to curiosity and Beomgyu’s scheming. He dragged Soobin along to Taehyun’s last salon appointment for “moral support” and somehow Soobin ended up in a chair himself. He was a bit uneasy at first about the change (and the bleach), but after a few days and several compliments from passing students on campus, he decided he likes it.

Now Yeonjun is rubbing gentle circles on Soobin’s back over the soft material of his t-shirt while he coughs and Hueningkai is handing him water with raised eyebrows.

“Uh when are Beomgyu and Taehyun supposed to get here again?” Soobin asks as soon as he’s cleared the cookie from his airway. Although this is Hueningkai’s first time meeting Yeonjun, the two share the same outgoing and lighthearted mindset, and Soobin can’t put it past Hueningkai to make a teasing comment about his tendency to embarrass himself whenever Yeonjun is nearby.

“Ten minutes according to the group chat! We’re getting lunch on the way to the arcade right?” Hueningkai responds, thankfully accepting the change in topic.

“That’s the plan,” Soobin answers. At Beomgyu’s insistence, Taehyun, Hueningkai, and Yeonjun were invited to the roommates’ second annual arcade adventure, to celebrate making it through the year at school. This year the gathering also allows the boys to hang out one more time before Taehyun and Hueningkai go home to visit their families.

“Let’s wait for them downstairs then. I fear for the safety of my cookies if we spend another ten minutes here,” Yeonjun clutches his hands to his chest dramatically as he eyes the rapidly dwindling number of cookies in front of him. Despite groans from Soobin and Hueningkai, the three move towards the door to gather their shoes and belongings.

“The purple really does look good on you,” Yeonjun finds time to murmur in Soobin’s ear on the elevator ride downstairs.

May 10, 5pm

“Why do you look so glum? I thought you like this game; are you not having fun?” Beomgyu asks when the credits roll across the screen. The air is warm and a little stuffy, evidence of the multitude of people crowded around various games nearby. They have to raise their voices slightly to be able to hear each other over the cacophony of laughter, shouts, and exaggerated sound effects from the surrounding games.

“No I’m having fun,” Soobin replies, stepping back from the machine to stretch his arms above his head. “It’s just...you know Yeonjun is leaving soon for that dance tour. He’ll be gone for two months, working with professionals and visiting big cities, and he’ll be so busy. He’s going to forget about me.”

“Have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s not going to forget about you, trust me.” Beomgyu digs in the back pocket of his jeans for the red plastic arcade card, intent on buying another round.

“What? How does he look at me?” Soobin responds with a blank expression, arms dropping back to his sides.

“The same way you looked when he sent you that dance video,” Beomgyu rolls his eyes, gesturing at Soobin to insert his own card into the slot in front of him. “Hurry up, this is the deciding round and I’m not planning on buying the ice cream tonight.”

Soobin steps back up to the machine, ears red as he remembers the incident Beomgyu is referring to. One day Yeojun surprised Soobin with a video from his last recital, an upbeat number with more than a little body rolling and hip thrusting. There was also a cropped black sweater that revealed entirely too much of Yeonjun’s toned stomach for Soobin’s health. It was only natural for Soobin to watch it on repeat, unable to drag his eyes away from his phone. And of course Beomgyu and Taehyun had witnessed the resulting collision with the wall when Soobin walked away to escape the teasing comments about the hungry look in his eye.

To add insult to injury, Beomgyu had taken to snapping pictures of Soobin while he was texting Yeonjun, later showing Soobin to illustrate “that dopey lovesick look” he apparently wore every time the subject of Yeonjun came up. Hueningkai hadn’t missed the opportunity to join the teasing either, elbowing Soobin during romantic scenes in movies and suggesting that Soobin recreate them with Yeonjun.

Soobin keeps his mouth closed, intending to focus on the game before Beomgyu says anything else on the matter. Besides, the fate of his wallet is at stake.

“I’m serious Binnie. He clearly adores you. Have you talked to him about it?” Beomgyu’s voice pulls him from his reverie.

“No. What if he thinks I’m pathetic? HAH, take that!” Soobin crows when he scores extra points.

“If he thought you were pathetic do you think he would put all this effort into getting to know your friends? Do you think he would agree to come with us today?”

“I guess you’re right. But what if he meets someone else? I can’t compete with a professional dancer.” It only takes this one moment of distraction for Soobin to miss a key combo and fall off the map, effectively ending any chance he had of winning.

“HAHA! I WON!” Beomgyu clenches his fists in victory, white sneakers sticking slightly to the tacky black floor as he hops from one foot to the other. “Time to go tell my boyfriend that I won!”

“Ugh no fair, you were distracting me. Let’s make it best 3 out of 5 instead,” Soobin pouts, waving his arcade card towards the game.

“Too bad,” Beomgyu sticks his tongue out. “Besides, someone needs to make sure Hueningkai isn’t spending all his money trying to win that plush dog. Oh and Soobin - just talk to Yeonjun about it. That’s the only way to know for sure.”

Beomgyu unties the checked flannel from his waist and shrugs it on over his pale blue shirt. He spins in a slow circle, squinting at the games around them as if Taehyun’s location is displayed somewhere in the blinking rainbow of lights. When they give him no clues, he shrugs and sets off in a random direction, brushing past a group of kids tossing basketballs into hoops with Soobin following close behind.

They find Yeonjun and Taehyun first, gulping down bottles of water and wiping sweat from their foreheads. Taehyun smiles when Beomgyu skips up and kisses him, chattering about what he and Soobin played and asking how Taehyun did. Yeonjun smiles too when he sees Soobin and draws close to engage him in conversation. Soobin learns that the two boys got caught up in a fierce Dance Dance Revolution battle, wrinkling his nose at the idea of doing so much exercise during a game.

“We’re going to go find Hueningkai,” Beomgyu announces after some hushed discussion with Taehyun. “Surely you two can find a game to play together.”

Before Soobin can answer, Beomgyu is slipping his hand into Taehyun’s and the two are disappearing to the right past the air hockey tables. Soobin turns back to Yeonjun to find the older boy watching him with a distinctly fond look in his eye. Maybe Beomgyu is right after all. Talking to Yeonjun might not go as badly as he’s anticipating.

“Hey, there’s this game I used to play when I was little. I’d like to see if they still have it. Wanna come find it with me?” Yeonjun asks, extending his hand towards Soobin. Soobin takes it with a shy nod, noticing the way the corners of Yeonjun’s eyes crinkle when their palms are pressed together.

The two set off to the left, weaving through the rows of games. Soobin steels himself to broach the subject of their summer plans, drawing strength from the warmth of Yeonjun’s skin and the buoyant feeling coursing through him from the contact. However, Yeonjun speaks first.

“So. I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask this,” Yeonjun says with a tremor in his voice. Soobin stops abruptly and pulls his hand out of Yeonjun’s, turning to face him. Panic courses through him at the idea of what Yeonjun might ask.

His feelings must be written all over his face because Yeonjun takes one look at him and reaches for his hand again. “It’s nothing bad! Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

They wind through the crowded arcade, the flashing lights and loud music pressing heavily against Soobin’s temples until they reach a relatively empty area by a giant crane game. Yeonjun leans back against the machine, looking almost angelic backlit in the white glow from the game. Soobin stands awkwardly in front of him, fidgeting with a loose thread in the hem of his shirt.

“So um. What did you want to ask me?”

“Well. You know I’ll be leaving next week, and I’ll be gone for two months.”

Soobin grimaces. It feels like he just started getting to know Yeonjun, and now the senior is off for a thrilling adventure that will no doubt make Soobin’s summer of sleep and video games seem unbearably boring in comparison.

“I know we haven’t been hanging out that long. And there’s no pressure. But will you - ah there’s no good way to say this - wait for me, I guess?” Yeonjun rubs the back of his neck, eyes flickering between his boots and Soobin’s face. “I know it sounds weird and old fashioned but-” he draws a breath, “I really like you and I want to keep seeing you when I come back.”

There’s a moment after the words tumble out where time feels suspended. All Soobin can hear is his racing heartbeat, the blood pounding in his ears as Yeonjun’s words sink in. A frown starts to form on Yeonjun’s face as he takes in Soobin’s shocked expression.

“I can. Wait for you.” Soobin mumbles before the frown can grow any deeper. Despite his own anxiety, he’s desperate to wipe the discomfort from Yeonjun’s face. This beautiful man not only likes him but is making an effort to be vulnerable with him and this knowledge plants a seed of bravery inside him.

The two of them sustain eye contact for a long moment, matching blushes turning their faces scarlet.

“Are you sure? I know it’s a lot to ask and-“

“I want to. I mean…I like you too,” Soobin interrupts, taking a step forward. After all the worrying that Yeonjun would forget about him over the summer, this is the last thing he expected to hear. He’s full of adrenaline and joy and relief, and based on the way Yeonjun is covering his face with his hands it looks like the feeling is mutual.

“Oh. Good,” Yeonjun whispers. Soobin steps forward again, drawn to Yeonjun like a magnet, until he can wrap his large hands around Yeonjun’s wrists and pull them gently away from his face. Yeonjun’s breath catches when his eyes open and he sees Soobin right in front of him, the tips of their toes almost touching. Soobin’s eyes widen as Yeonjun’s gaze drifts to his lips.

Soobin stands mesmerized as Yeonjun frees his hands from Soobin’s grasp, one falling to grip Soobin’s hip over his shirt and the other coming to rest at the junction of Soobin’s neck and shoulder. His skin pulses at each point of contact, warm and flushed under Yeonjun’s heavy gaze. Soobin is no expert at romance, but he wants to kiss Yeonjun so badly his chest aches.

“Um, can I…?” Soobin trails off awkwardly, tilting his head and leaning in slightly. He’s rewarded with an almost inaudible gasp, and then Yeonjun’s hand is sliding up his neck to cradle the back of his head and carefully guide their lips together.

Yeonjun’s lips are soft and pillowy, pressing firmly against his as Yeonjun’s fingers tangle in his hair. Soobin instinctively brings a hand up to clutch at Yeonjun’s shoulder, the other hand flying to grip Yeonjun’s waist where his black shirt is tucked into dark blue jeans. He has time to hazily notice how small the boy’s waist is before Yeonjun’s tongue is running along the seam of his lips, questioning. Soobin’s mouth falls open unconsciously and he feels the tentative slide of Yeonjun’s tongue against his own when -

“EW GET A ROOM,” comes the unmistakable shriek of Hueningkai’s voice from behind them. “Right in front of the plushies too! Gross!”

The two break apart with a startled squeak. Yeonjun squeezes Soobin’s hip while he responds, allowing Soobin to rest his reddened face against Yeonjun’s shoulder and regain his breath.

“Last I checked this IS a room,” Yeonjun drawls with a grin.

“Oh my god,” Soobin whispers into Yeonjun’s shirt.

“Okay lovebirds, SOMEONE owes us all ice cream and I for one am ready to collect.”

Beomgyu’s voice and the mention of ice cream sober Soobin up. He lifts his head and turns half his body to look at his friends, who are all watching him with barely concealed glee. Hueningkai is holding the husky plushie he was eyeing earlier in the night, and Beomgyu and Taehyun appear to be sporting matching bracelets they no doubt purchased with their credits.

“Fine fine, we’re coming,” Soobin sighs, already dreading the comments he’ll receive from the other boys when they get home. He disentangles himself from Yeonjun with a wry smile, making sure to hold Yeonjun’s hand as they tag along behind the other three.

When nobody is looking, Soobin presses his fingers against his mouth as if to seal in the sensation of Yeonjun’s lips against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooo! I've been having a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about Yeonbin recently so this was a good creative outlet (read: I can't watch them kiss irl so I wrote it instead). June's chapter is going to be exciting and I'm hyped to get it started!
> 
> You can find me on twitter @grandsquid1 if you want to say hey :)


	6. June

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo MOA! I hope everyone made it through dream week and the fan live and MC Soobin's selcas with their sanity intact. Honestly this chapter is so self-indulgent; Soobin's arm warmers are holding me hostage and I had to write them in somewhere. 
> 
> I can't believe we're halfway through this journey! This chapter heralds the rise of sexy Soobin so start preparing now lmao

June 20, 11pm

The air is thick with heat and glitter and the smell of alcohol and Soobin is out of his element. Somehow going to parties with Beomgyu doesn’t get easier the more he does it, and clubbing on pride night is a major step up from the house parties he’s been to before. 

It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of spinning lights, thumping speakers, and moving bodies, so Soobin is sticking to Beomgyu like glue. He’s got one finger hooked under the strap of the small bag slung around Beomgyu’s hips, determined not to lose his friend as they weave through the crowd.. 

When Beomgyu finally stops moving, Soobin almost runs into his back. They’ve made it down a cramped set of stairs and entered a smaller room that’s no less packed than the one they came from. The room is illuminated only by the strips of lights running along the low ceiling and the dim glow from cell phone screens.

Beomgyu taps Soobin’s shoulder and leans up to shout in his ear, “this is the meeting spot, can’t believe we’re the first ones here!” 

Soobin nods and looks around the room nervously, overwhelmed by the dizzying array of colors and costumes and movement surrounding him. Everything is just a little too much, the stagnant air heavy in his lungs. He pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black cargo pants and checks again for any new messages.

An elbow hits his ribs gently.

“He probably hasn’t texted back in the last 5 minutes,” Beomgyu scolds with a pointed look at Soobin’s phone. “Look, here they come! At least say hi yeah?”

Beomgyu gestures towards a small group of people approaching, all wearing the same obnoxiously bright sequined suspenders as he is. It’s a mixed crew of Beomgyu’s theater friends, and unsurprisingly they look comfortable and relaxed under the ever changing lights overhead.

After a round of introductions yelled over the thundering music, two of the newcomers suggest going upstairs. Soobin is reluctantly dragged back up the narrow stairs to the main floor. Every available space is occupied with moving bodies, the dance floor filling up as partygoers prepare for the headlining act to come on.

They wind up right in the thick of things, squeezed in towards the middle of the dance floor. He feels almost claustrophobic between the surge of the crowd, the tang of beer in the air, and the way he can feel the music in his chest. One of Beomgyu’s friends whose name Soobin can’t quite remember (or didn’t hear) is trying to talk to him but the music is too loud.

Soobin makes a halfhearted excuse to the friend and taps Beomgyu on the shoulder, causing his roommate to lower his arms from above his head and turn. 

“Is there anywhere a little less….” Soobin trails off, looking around desperately.

Beomgyu understands right away. “There’s an outdoor patio. It’s not much quieter but it should be less busy. Do you want company?” 

Soobin takes stock of the situation. He’s committed to stay with Beomgyu the entire night to avoid getting separated like last time, but he doesn’t want the entire group coming outside or missing anything on his account. His introverted tendencies win, the promise of a quiet moment alone too tempting.

He shakes his head.

“Patio’s out that way,” Beomgyu points towards a set of double doors that are constantly swinging open and shut when people pass through. “We’ll stay right here till you get back okay?”

Soobin nods in affirmation and starts nudging through the throng of dancers towards the doors. Stepping outside feels like coming up for air after being underwater for slightly too long; a pressure lifts off his chest as soon as he clears the mess of people inside. 

An empty seat on a bench to the side catches Soobin’s eye immediately. Sitting down sounds good, so he skirts around the groups scattered around the patio with muttered apologies until he gets there. Perfect. It’s tucked in a corner, away from the club doors where noise spills onto the patio. 

Still no new messages from Yeonjun. Realistically it’s to be expected; between practice, rehearsal, preparations, and the shows themselves he’s barely had free time. But Soobin still can’t help himself from checking his phone repeatedly, and it gives him something to do while he calms down outside.. 

“Hey pretty.”

Soobin is interrupted from his absentminded scrolling by the arrival of the leather-clad man now hovering over him. He feels small under the man’s intense gaze, a feeling which only escalates as he takes in a muscled body and the predatory look in the man’s eyes.

“All alone tonight?” the man drawls, lazily exhaling a cloud of smoke. His loose tank top barely covers his chest and skims the belt holding his black leather pants in place, fingerless black gloves accentuated by the white of the cigarette in his right hand. The overall effect is...intimidating. 

“No, no I have friends inside,” Soobin says weakly, a bit stunned. What’s happening? Why is this man talking to him? He cranes his head to look around the man at the doors to the club, but the man steps in to block his view.

“Hmm. Well I’d be happy to help you make some new friends. Friends who won’t leave you outside by yourself, who can occupy that pretty mouth of yours.” 

Soobin’s brain stops working. He raises a hand to cover his mouth, the gloss on his lips sticking slightly to his fingers, and looks down at his lap. No one has ever talked to him like this before. What should he do?

“Aww feeling shy? That’s okay baby, why don’t you-”

“Why don’t you fuck off?” A female voice chimes in from behind the man in front of him. Soobin chances a glance up to assess the situation and finds the man has turned around to respond to the mystery woman. The sound of their arguing is distant, his head still buzzing with adrenaline.

“Well I’m not going to leave you alone until you leave him alone, so be a good boy and run along now,” the female voice commands. The man seems to give up because he starts walking away, throwing a rude gesture over his shoulder as he vanishes back into the crowd.

“Hey, you okay? What a jerk.”

Soobin now has an unobstructed view of the woman talking to him. He blushes as he takes in her outfit: a cropped pink top and shiny purple shorts that barely cover her tanned skin, stacks of silver bracelets on her wrists, and blue suede heels. Her long high ponytail shifts behind her when she takes a sip of the drink in her hand.

“Um, yeah. I’m alright,” Soobin responds in a small voice. 

“Mind if I sit with you for a moment? I’m Jessi,” she says, extending a hand for Soobin to shake. He nods and scoots closer to the end of the bench to make room for her to plop down next to him, one leg crossed over the other.

“I’m Soobin,” he says to his knees. “Thank you for helping me.”

“No problem. Goodness knows I’ve seen enough of his type. Cute gloves.” She gestures at the rainbow striped arm warmers hooked around his thumbs and running up to his elbows. 

Beomgyu had taken him for an emergency shopping trip once Soobin agreed to come with him and his friends tonight, since Soobin didn’t own any other rainbow gear. In addition to the arm warmers Soobin is sporting a white t-shirt with “Love Wins” in rainbow letters printed on the front and a rainbow heart drawn on each cheek from a face painting booth earlier.

“Ah, I like your hair,” Soobin responds politely. He pushes the arm warmers down to his wrists and then pulls them back up to his elbows self consciously. She smiles and twirls her ponytail around a ring-adorned finger with a giggle.

“Thanks! Do you have friends here?” 

“They’re inside. You don’t have to stay with me or anything. I’m okay.”

“Well alright. I’m going back inside then but if anyone else bothers you make sure to stand up for yourself okay? A firm “no” is usually enough but security is solid here, just flag them down if you can’t get someone to leave you alone. Nice to meet you Soobin.”

“Okay, I will. Thanks Jessi.” 

Soobin gives her a small wave goodbye as she stands and marches across the patio, hips swinging. He tries to organize his thoughts. 

The major message ricocheting around his brain is that he needs to stop freezing whenever he’s uncomfortable. If Jessi hadn’t shown up what might have happened with that man? The way he talked as if Soobin belonged to him...Soobin shudders. He misses Yeonjun. 

This can’t happen again. Like Jessi said, he needs to start standing up for himself. He needs to be confident about what he wants.

He knows where to start. Soobin stands up and positions himself closer to one of the outdoor lamps. As creepy as he was, the man’s words about Soobin’s lips are echoing in his mind, so Soobin makes sure to pout slightly when he angles his phone to snap a few photos.

He picks the best one and sends it off to Yeonjun with a short message:

Soobin  
Thinking about you 💙 I miss you!

Then he pockets his phone and heads back inside to find Beomgyu, a new bounce in his step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me and leaving your kudos and comments! I appreciate all of you <3
> 
> Happy (early) birthday to my favorite 🧸. I hope he's very happy today and always. 
> 
> I'm @grandsquid1 on Twitter if you want to drop by and say hello!


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